Year of Leaving
On November 21, I’ve a routine of reflecting on the previous 365 days.
365 days ago began a year of leaving. God’s instruction had never been clearer. It began with Him telling me to leave my dream job, precious friends, a community I had been a part of and poured my everything into.
A year of leaving is intense. There was overwhelming grief over what I lost. That first step of leaving — it was only the start of all He was going to ask of me. I just had no idea. The whole year has been filled with leaving – ministries, roles I served in, places I’ve poured my heart and life into… Sister Share, the Bible Study Website, email lists. He said to let it go.
He stripped away the things I thought I was working towards, dreams of who I wanted to become, things I trusted in, people I wanted to serve, who my life had been invested in. He kept calling me to leave places He had once called me to serve in — it continued until there was no leaving left to leave.
It was lonely at first — to go from busy and invested in so many people to seemingly nothing. Weeks went by, longing to talk to someone and not have anyone to share it with. I realized I needed to repent from years of a habit of finding validation from other people. It was a bit like leaving an addiction — learning to live without the high that serving others and living so busy. There was an ugly sort of crash that happened.
I was left with my relationship with Jesus, my family, and a few friends. The bare basics. In the quiet, He gently remade my insides. The people and roles that used to get the last of me began to get the first of my time and energy.
It fully satisfied me.
It comforted places in my heart that had never been comforted before. I didn’t become healed (that will only happen in heaven) but I became healthier inside. The way I look at life and the moments have been reshaped, my insides redesigned. Going back to the basics, getting a chance to restart — has changed me. He has taken, yes, but He has given us back something we could have never dreamed of. Something we never even knew we longed for.
a year of leaving
hard. good.
life changing
freeing
filled with a million little lessons
Quote
He has taken, yes, but He has given us back something we could have never dreamed of. Something we never even knew we longed for.
Todays Prayer
Dear God,
Help me to let go where you ask us to and trust You to provide and teach me. Give me the eyes to see what will fully satisfy the longing in my heart,
In Jesus name, Amen.
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