I buy a set of nice LED candles. As I am UNPACKING them the girls ding up the side of one of them. I hadn’t even got batteries in them yet.
I organize shipping supplies nicely in a box in the basement. A DAY later the packing peanuts, random boxes and packing bubbles are all spilled out and scattered around.
I open my iPad to type this post. The screen is FILTY!!!!!! The screen is cracked.
I have my bed all made, the clothes put away, floor swept. Minutes later I go back in my room to find a drawer emptied onto the floor. The culprit is walking around wearing on of my shirts as a dress.
The table is all clear, dishwasher loaded and counters washed off. Only to find snack time is just minutes away with jelly crackers being made by little sticky hands.
. . . . . . I could keep going, really I could! I could list and list and list all the things I can’t keep nice.
I am beginning to think maybe I should just buy things, clean things, and put away things with the expectations that they WILL BE RUINED!! If I expected it to be ruined would I be able to handle it better when I find it is so? I find myself saying “Why can’t I keep anything nice?”
And today, just today, I wonder does God ask the same question of me?
“Trudie, why can’t you keep anything nice?”
“I gave you these beautiful children, I gave you a wonderful husband. I gave you these great friends. I gave you this calling. I gave you this talent. I gave you this LIFE”
“Trudie, Why can’t you keep it nice?”
The Fact is I can not keep it nice. The Fact is I’m broken. The Fact is I CAN NOT do this. I can not do this calling. I can not do this talent. I can not be a friend. I fail at being a mom. I can’t love my husband the way I should. I can not do this life. I am broken. I am tired. I am worn.
This week has been rough, not enough sleep, too much to do, too little time. Not enough energy. I am reminded again; I CAN NOT do this!
I can’t keep anything nice.
Enter. God. He is the only way.
He wants to take our messes. He wants to take our needs. He wants to take our too muches and not enoughes (ya I know that’s not a word) He wants to take our broken. He wants to make our story into something beautiful. He wants to change our hard into HIS Easy. He wants to take our impossible and change it into HIS possible. He wants to take our disaster and mess and turn into into HIS wonderfulness. (that’s probably not a word either)
Point is- Just as we want to help our children clean up, fix and not ruin the things around us; He wants the same for us.
He wants us to wait till the whole package is opened before we ding up the side. He was to show us His will before we try to put our brokenness into the story.
He wants us to stay focused on our calling and our talents rather than strewing our whole life out into disorder by trying to accomplish things not in His will.
He wants us to try to keep the ‘screens’ of our mind the thoughts in our hearts clean and free of cracks.
He doesn’t want us to pull out of the church pews someone else’s calling and put their “job’ on top of us. Or their worries on top of us. Wearing it around like my little gal does to the too big shirts she pulls out of my drawers. No, He wants us to wear our ‘own’ responsibilities and callings.
He wants us to wait on Him, rather than delving into things on our own. Like the snack time right after supper is cleaned up. He wants us to wait on HIs timing and His plan.
We, maybe I should speak only for myself, I need to take Him my messes. I need to take him my broken things. Only through HIM can I become anything. Only through HIM can my messes become beautiful. Only through HIM.
So, Here Lord. I give it to You. Make my mess something Beautiful.