I poured out to my kids and husband all day, every day. Each night I would wearily fall into bed.
I would rush to church ready to be encouraged and looking for the strength to keep going. I would leave church feeling emptier than I was when I got there.
I thought it was selfish to take time to read the Bible, or take time for myself to sneak away and be quiet.
I thought it a huge surprise if I had just one minute alone.
I was so empty, but didn’t know how to get filled up.
One day I got filled up
to the brim. I heard Jesus’ voice clearly again.
One lesson He taught me that day was that I was the one responsible for how empty I was. I couldn’t look to my church to fill me up. I couldn’t look to my friends. Or my husband. Or my kids. . . I was the one responsible for how empty I was.
I was the only one who could feel this emptiness.
It was my responsibility to Seek Jesus.
I could go thru the motions, going to church, reading my Bible. . . But until I really seeked Jesus with my whole heart, I would stay stuck in this empty cycle.
Maybe I hadn’t wanted it enough before this point. Perhaps I hadn’t shut off the distractions long enough to hear His voice. Maybe the things I was searching for His voice in were not the right methods. Perhaps I thought I was too desperate to realize I could seek Him on my own.
Maybe I was putting too much of the responsibility on someone who shouldn’t held that responsibility in the first place.
That one day of getting filled up and poured into for hours and hours… that’s when I realized He was right there all along. Waiting for me to realize it. My eyes were open to how much I needed to hear from Him.
I began meeting with Jesus. I put my girls on Veggie Tales and I spent time with Jesus. I began doing the TAP method
for studying the Bible. At first, I spent 5 minutes. Before long I was reading more and more and studying it. And journaling. And listening to Jesus.
I began to love the Bible. I wanted to read it every morning. I wanted to learn. It became alive to me.
I was getting filled up with my morning quiet time.
Jesus is what my heart longed for.
He is the only One who can truly satisfy.
Girl, nothing else will work. He is the only one who can fill you up.
Before I can add any more articles to this blog series. We have to get this right.
We need to seek Jesus first.
No one else can do this for us. It is our responsibility to take the first step.
So, I wonder, do you have an active relationship with Jesus? Is the Bible alive for you? Is Jesus alive? Is the Holy Spirit bubbling up inside of you?
Jesus needs to be real in your life before anything else.
If He is, awesome! Keep making time to hear Him a priority.
If He’s not, run to Jesus and tell Him your need. He is faithful to fill you up.